


Confused

by CharlieTeenWolf



Category: Ackley Bridge (TV)
Genre: Bisexuality, Boys In Love, Chaptered, Character Based, Character Study, Confused Teenager, Confusion, Cory Doesn't Know What He Is Feeling, Cory Truly Loves Naveed, Cory Wilson Is Confused, Drama, Gay Sex, Gay Teenagers, Homosexuality, Hurt Boys, Long, Love, M/M, Sexuality, Sexuality Crisis, Sexuality Study, Starts 02x05
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-26 12:17:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15663072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlieTeenWolf/pseuds/CharlieTeenWolf
Summary: Naveed Haider kisses Cory Wilson and the latter's life spirals into a whirlwind of confusion.





	1. Our Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is the first fanfiction I'm ever posting on here, and obviously my first time writing for the Ackley Bridge fandom. I've just absolutely fallen in love with the Cory and Nav storyline, so I had to write something! 
> 
> Firstly, if you hadn't guessed by the title, Cory is confused. Hella confused. Anyone who has experienced what it is like to come to terms with a sexuality other than heterosexual should understand this. it is not an easy process to accept or understand, especially when there are so many options these days, so many labels. Cory, I think, who comes from a poor and abusive background, doesn't even realise that there are other options than straight and gay. Naveed needed time to accept his sexuality, as did Nasreen. It is perfectly understandable that a seventeen year old boy who's immersed in a highly toxically masculine environment, needs time to figure out where he stands with Naveed and what he feels. From a writing point of view it makes perfect sense, more so than it would've if they'd been mindlessly thrust together. Cory needs time to evolve so that he can be a better boyfriend to Naveed. He's not ready for a relationship, not even with a woman. All the hints that he is something other than straight are there. I find it hard to believe that the writers of a show full of well represented diversity, a show that hasn't been afraid to show teenage sexuality in all its glory, would get a story line like this wrong. In my opinion, they have actually been getting it right so far. Yes, Cory hurt Naveed, but it's just because he is so confused. They aren't together yet, so I think we can forgive him. 
> 
> This fic is about Cory's confusion. I hope to follow the season through to its end and explore how Cory comes to terms with his sexuality, which I interpret as bisexual at this point, going off on my own original storyline once the season has ended and I know what I have to work with. 
> 
> Well, enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Ackley Bridge or any of the characters or plot.

The locker room was awfully quiet when Naveed finally stumbled in. Cory stopped himself from breathing a sigh of relief as he turned towards the sound of heavy footsteps. With one eyebrow raised, he silently wondered why Naveed was walking with such determination, such urgency. Usually, he walked with the same grace he twirled with on the ice, and that was a _whole_ lot. Sometimes he was so quiet that the brush of his hand on Cory's shoulder would frighten him half to death.

None of his urgency stopped his hair from being perfectly in place, along with the usual clean cut of his uniform. He shot Cory a grin as soon as he met his eyes. The thing about Naveed's smile was, no matter his mood, it always reached his eyes - it always glistened with happiness. Cory wondered if he smiled at other people like that, and felt unbelievably sad. Everything horrible that had turned his life upside down over the past few months was becoming increasingly unbearable to live with. If he combined the way he felt about the abuse, his brother’s absence, the feeling he felt deep in the pit of his stomach every time he was in Nav's presence, and all of the other crazy things he experienced, Cory was sure he’d suffocate to death. It was like someone had put a pillow over his nose and was pressing down as hard as they could, like a thief was trying to steal his breath.

He couldn't breathe.

These days, Nav was the only thing that made him feel better. _Here he was_ , he thought, _a breath of fresh air, a sigh of relief_.

"Here's your drink, Cory," Naveed panted as he finally reached him. Cory tried not to think about the brush of their hands as he passed over the drink, or the way Nav's smile seemed to brighten even further. "Oh," he added, before unzipping his bag and pulling something out. "Jordan wanted me to give you this."

He handed over a piece of paper that had been folded in two. Cory took it, careful to place his hands on an area Naveed wasn't holding. Once it was firmly in his grasp, he unfolded the page and scanned its content. He pressed his lips firmly together as he took in the drawing. Sometimes his brother did things that made Cory absolutely certain he was a good kid. The teachers couldn't see it, neither could his dad, but Cory knew, he knew who his little brother was. That's why it hurt so much that he couldn't save him, help him. He desperately wanted to be there for him, but every time he got the opportunity his limbs locked and he was frozen in place.

Every time his dad beat his brother he stood by and watched.

He wanted to be out there searching for his brother, who was on the streets alone, who avoided him at every turn, who hired Naveed as a messenger. Cory felt like a failure. Yet, he was expected to impress some scout? It's not that he didn't appreciate the efforts his teachers to keep him on the right track. It's just... sometimes there were days when things got too much, and today was one of those days.

"I'm gonna blow this," Cory breathed out, starting to panic along with the pounding in his chest. His heart didn't seem like it was about to give up, and blood rushed quickly to his head.

"Hey, you're going to be fine," Naveed began, rushing forwards and drawing Cory's focus. He tried to concentrate on the slightly smaller boy as his eyes began to blur. "Hey, Cory! You're not going to blow this!"

Cory laughed lightly as some focus came back to him. "I am."

Naveed shook his head. "Say it," he insisted, "say you're not going to blow this."

Cory gave a second gentle laugh, before half-heartedly saying, "I'm not going to blow this."

Naveed rushed forwards and grasped Cory's head with both hands. "Say it again!" He repeated, in a whirlwind sort of way.

Cory smiled, repeating the phrase a little more loudly. Nav had a way of just being able to cheer him up.

"Say it again!" Nav said for the final time, pushing his forehead gently against Cory's. Cory held onto the back of Nav's head with a smile. They were so close, their foreheads and hands the only physical contact they shared, yet it might as well have been their entire bodies.

"I'm not going to blow this!"

There was only silence as they shared a grin. Naveed's smile was so wide, and Cory took a moment to appreciate it. They had a weird sort of friendship. Cory had never shared moments like this with another boy before, not even a girl. He'd never had sentimental moments with anyone. His parents hadn't shown him the love a child deserved. He had been neglected, and he'd suffered because of it. That was why moments where he was shown real affection felt so foreign to him, so unlikely, so undeserved.

Nav's smile fell away as Cory realised he was no longer grinning too. There was a pause as they stared at each other. _Nav's eyes are so brown_ , Cory thought, as he watched them flick down for a glance at his lips. _My lips? Why is he looking there?_

At once, the world seemed to slow down as everything moved out of focus, leaving the two of them alone in a blank room. All he could see was Naveed. All he could feel was Naveed. All he wanted was Naveed.

The thought of Naveed's eyes on his lips fell away as he mirrored the other boy’s earlier glance with nervous hesitation. All the frustration, anger and confusion, and all the other emotions he was feeling, fell away to create a final lasting silence. The silence between them was always noticeable. It was fragile, soft and gentle, something the two of them had to consciously uphold. It was comfortable, anything but awkward. Cory appreciated the silent moments he shared with Naveed, because those moments were the only times Cory felt like he didn't have to overcompensate for everything he didn't have, everything that he shouldn't be. With Naveed, he felt right, as if he couldn't put a foot wrong. Naveed had a way of exposing all of Cory's insecurities by simply shooting him a look that screamed - _you're perfect the way that you are_. At least, that's what Cory hoped it meant. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but he just wanted one friend that cared about him - _truly_ cared. _One_. Was that too much to ask for?

Everything was quiet in his mind. Naveed let out a small whisper of breath that sent shivers down the back of his neck. Although neither of them said anything, this silence felt different to all the others. Cory felt an overwhelming urge to fill it with something, anything, as if he was supposed to say something, or supposed to do something. Suddenly, without really thinking about what he was doing, especially the consequences his actions could have, or even what they meant, Cory was leaning in. Naveed seemed to meet him half way, as if they were on the same wave length, as if they shared a mind and Nav had heard everything he had thought, or been thinking the exact same thing all on his own.

They had so many similarities, which was one of the reasons Cory appreciated his friendship so much. He truly did, _appreciate it_. Not only because _yes_ , he hadn't had a friend like Nav before, who could make him cry with laughter, smile _and_ groan, all at the same time, but because it made Cory feel special, as if he was the object of someone's affections. As if he meant something to someone. As if they would care if he was suddenly gone. His dad certainly wouldn't. Cory wondered if he’d even notice at all. Since he’d kicked Jordan out, his dad was walking around acting as if he had never even been there, as if he hadn't existed at all. And somehow, despite the fact that they still shared a house, despite the fact that he had been his son for seventeen years, Cory had faded into the background too, as if he had been forgotten. As if he wasn't there.

So maybe Cory did feel a little bit too much when someone smiled at him, when someone turned and asked him a question, acknowledged his existence. Maybe he felt even more when it was Nav who did it. But Cory had a lot of reasons to feel a lot, as he spent most of his time feeling too little.

Maybe Cory finally felt alive for the first time when their lips touched. Maybe Cory absolutely, utterly and completely loved the touch of another boy's lips against his own. Maybe Cory loved it even more because they were Nav's, and they felt so incredibly _soft_. Maybe he finally felt like he could breathe again or maybe he felt like he could finally breathe for the first time.

In that moment, Cory felt a lot of things. Their kiss lasted for only a second, and after what felt like a lifetime, they drifted away from one another. Cory opened his eyes, which he hadn't realised he had closed. The first thing they recognised was Nav's chocolate buttons, giving him the most incredulous look imaginable, as if he couldn't believe what had happened.

Cory was still holding onto Nav, as was Nav holding onto him. When his best friend leant in for the second time, Cory began to feel something entirely different. The world no longer seemed frozen in time. The moment they shared felt like it had passed by almost a lifetime ago, but the kiss, _oh_ the _kiss_ , was inked into his brain - something he knew he would never be able to forget.

Suddenly Cory was so angry he felt like he could cry. Not at Nav, who he hadn't even thought could be gay. Not at the kiss they had shared, at the world or the universe. At _himself_. Suddenly everything had changed, and he pushed Naveed away.

"What are you doing?" He asked with a tone more blunt than he had wanted, more demanding than he had meant. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Naveed, his _Nav_ who meant so much to him, who sometimes felt like the only person in the world who cared, the only person he could talk to. Cory couldn't think clearly because he was so damn _angry_. The question had been directed at Naveed, who hadn't been given the opportunity to answer before Cory was ushered out and onto the field. But truly, the question had really been meant for himself.

In that moment, less than a minute after their lips had touched, Cory felt an emotion more powerful than anything he had ever felt before.

Confusion.

He was confused because he didn't know what the kiss had meant. He was confused because he didn't know why they had kissed. He was confused because he didn't understand how he felt, or why he felt the way he did. He was confused because he didn't understand why Nav had kissed him, why he had wanted to kiss him - _Cory_. He was confused because he didn't know why his dad didn't love him. He was confused because he didn't why his mum had left all those years ago. He was confused because he didn't understand why his brother couldn't talk to him, couldn't ask him for help, didn't feel safe with him. He was confused because Cory had spent his entire life liking _girls_. He had pushed all of his feelings away. He had never shared a kiss with anyone that felt the way the kiss with Naveed had felt - so powerful and so amazing. So incredible. He was confused because he _wasn't_ gay.

He wasn't.

He was confused about everything. But Cory held onto one single thought he promised himself he knew for certain.

I'm. Not. Gay.

While Cory was confused, he knew he would be able to deal with it one way or another. All he had to do was put it into the back of his mind in that _special_ box. The same box he put all of his feelings in every time Jordan got punched or kicked – or _both_ – by their dad.

He went out onto the field and did what he thought he knew how to do - play rugby.

But Cory, despite what he told himself, despite how much he tried to believe it, was still so, _so_ confused. That confusion, the anger that he felt because of it, needed to be released somehow.

Cory messed everything up. Just like he knew he would.


	2. Naveed's Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the first part, and for all your lovely comments. This next chapter was actually supposed to be a part of another chapter, but I got a bit carried away and it got really long. This chapter is from Naveed's perspective. I hope you enjoy it!

**Nasreen 4.48pm**

_have you heard?_

Naveed stared down at the message on his phone in a state of confusion. _Had he heard what?_ He'd only been home for about an hour. To be honest, he wasn't even planning on checking his phone in case it was a message from Cory. His objective was to run as far away from the problem – the kiss – as possible. He'd only thought about replying because he saw that the message was from Nasreen, _not_ Cory.

His interest peaked; he shot back a quick reply.

**Naveed 4.50pm**

_heard what? has something happened?_

Naveed set his phone down beside him and continued reading over the lines he needed to memorise for the school play. He wasn't doing a very good job as due to Nasreen's text, his mind was elsewhere. Regardless, he continued reading and pretending to himself that he was benefitting from it, before his phone buzzed for a second time. Naveed decided to continue the act before picking his phone up as it was pretty Puck centric. Once he finished, he rushed to read the message Nasreen had sent.

**Nasreen 4.58pm**

_everything's fine on my end_. _just wondered if you had heard about riz?_ _i know you guys are friends and all_. _he's broken his neck!_ _heard cory hit him_.

**Naveed 5.00pm**

_broke his freaking neck?! how is that possible?_

Naveed's heart began to pound as he panicked. Riz… a broken neck? That couldn't be good. _You could die from an injury that serious_ , he thought. Along with various other thoughts of complications that could come with a neck injury, Naveed's head began to swirl. He felt terrible for Riz, the person who least deserving of something like this. As Naveed read the rest of Nasreen's message, as he had been quick to shoot a reply once he'd read _broken his neck_ , his eyes bulged with shock. 

 _heard cory hit him_.

Cory?

There was a moment where Naveed held his breath as the realisation of what must have happened hit him hard. Cory had tackled Riz and broken his neck... because he was angry - or _something_ \- at Naveed for kissing him. Naveed wanted to smack himself for his stupidity. Kissing your straight friend was bad enough, but kissing them before the biggest game of their life, when the pressure was already weighing him down, had to be a new level of _stupid_. Naveed felt awful, like it was all his fault. He felt awful for Riz, who had got hurt in the backlash. He felt awful for Cory, knowing he had probably ruined any chance he had of being scouted.

Naveed silently scolded himself. Naveed wasn't exactly rich or anything, but he was far better off than his best friend, who'd been dealt all the wrong cards in life. That opportunity had been huge for him, and Naveed had gone and ruined it. It was quite possibly his one chance of getting out of this hell hole of a town, of possibly getting a sports scholarship to a good university or going pro, of making something of his life. Not a lot of people realised it, because not a lot of people actually cared enough to check, which in itself was _so sad_ , but Cory was actually quite smart. If he really applied himself, Naveed _knew_ that he could do big things. He was so talented.

Cory must _hate_ Naveed.

His phone buzzed in his hands and snapped him from his dark thoughts.

**Nasreen 5.01pm**

_i have no idea nav, i hope he's okay_.

 _to be fair, i heard it through the grapevine_.

 _could be an exaggeration_.

Although that made Naveed feel slightly better, he still had a disgustingly sour taste in his mouth. Sighing, he decided to try and stay as positive as possible under the circumstances.

**Naveed 5.01pm**

_i hope so!_

_have you heard from cory?_

**Nasreen 5.02pm**

_cory? why would i have heard from him? i don't even have his number_.

**Naveed 5.03pm**

_just wondering._

_let me know if you hear anything_.

**Nasreen 5.04pm**

_will do. stay safe x_

**Naveed 5.05pm**

_you too xx_

Naveed knew that was the end of their conversation. He wished that she had more information, accurate information, so that he knew exactly what had gone down, exactly how hurt Riz was, how bad it was for a Cory. _Would he get in trouble?_ He thought. _Surely if there was lasting damage to Riz there'd have to be some sort of investigation or something?_

Naveed reminded himself not to get too worked up over the unknown. He swiped the conversation with Nas away and opened a new one.

**Naveed 5.05pm**

_hey riz, let me know if you need anything. hope you are okay_.

He wasn't expecting a reply from Riz anytime soon, who was probably still in the hospital having all sorts of horrible tests done on him. Sighing, he pushed all thoughts of Riz to the back of his mind. Of course, the empty space suddenly filled with more thoughts of Cory, so that hadn't really helped at all. After debating back and forth over whether or not he should send Cory a text, he decided that he was going to give it a shot. Obviously, they hadn't spoken at all since the kiss. Since Cory gave him that horrible look and said - _what are you doing?_ Those words had crushed Naveed's dreams. It was like Cory had taken his hopes and prayers and stamped on them, laughing at how pathetic his gay friend was. Cory hadn't exactly ever said anything homophobic in Naveed's presence but, he was a lad, and he hung around with other lads, and lads had a way of being ignorant to anything other than heterosexual.

Naveed felt so sick thinking about that look. Cory was probably disgusted by him, which hurt so much because Naveed had really thought that there was something there. Cory had been so kind, more kind than any other boy had ever been to him. He felt like their relationship was different, _gosh_ , like there was _something there_. The glances, the brushes of elbows, the smiles, the kind comments, had all been a lie. Even Cory's commitment to the play, which had touched Naveed more than he could ever admit, because that was so out of Cory's comfort zone, and he had said he was doing it for _him_. Cory was just trying to be a good friend, and Naveed had gone and kissed him, ruining his life.

Alright, maybe Naveed was being a tad bit over dramatic. Maybe Cory didn't hate him. It was hard to think positively when you were facing the fact you might never be able to talk to someone who meant so much to you again.

Naveed stared at his phone. He had opened a conversation without even realising it. His eyes scanned over all of his and Cory's past messages with a small smile. They talked about such shit sometimes, and other times they talked about the deepest things. Their relationship had so many layers, and it pained him so deeply that it might end. With the little energy he had left, Naveed tried to figure out what to say to Cory, anything that might make him feel better or save their relationship.

Should he bring up the kiss? Should he apologise? Should he ask about Riz?

There was so many options, so many opportunities to get it wrong and say the wrong thing. Naveed _needed_ to get it right this time. Their relationship depended on it.

Naveed typed out more messages than he could count. He deleted them all. After a moment of contemplating what to say, as if another moment would help him finally figure out what he'd been missing for the past ten minutes, he decided to just ask him the most important question.

**Naveed 5.15pm**

_you okay?_

Naveed suddenly realised how quiet everything was in his house as he waited for Cory to reply. His discomfort grew with this realisation, as if his body ached for something to fill the silence, for _someone_ to fill it. Unlike for Riz, Naveed wasn't expecting a belated response, because a small part of him didn't expect one at all. That was why, when he saw the triple dotted grey bubble pop up on the bottom left hand corner of his screen, he was so shocked. Naveed waited patiently for Cory to type out his message. The bubble stayed there for a while as if he had a lot to say before disappearing. The bubble reappeared and reappeared and reappeared before disappearing again. He finally responded.

**Cory 5.20pm**

_no._

It was a short and brief answer, but it was something. Definitely better than nothing. Perhaps all hope wasn't lost, after all. Naveed was still worried about why he sent back such a blunt answer. There could be so many different reasons, though, so he decided to just get straight to the point.

**Naveed 5.22pm**

_i heard about riz_.

Cory clearly didn't know what to say, because the grey bubble was back in action, bouncing around like it didn't know _what_ it was doing. Naveed sighed, which was something he apparently did a lot now. He hoped that Cory would find the right words.

**Cory 5.25pm**

_i messed everything up, nav_.

That text message was exactly what Naveed had been afraid of. Cory shouldn't be blaming himself; Cory should blame Naveed. It wasn't his fault, he wasn't a bad person. Naveed knew for a fact that Cory would never try to intentionally hurt someone, especially Riz. He must have been so angry at Naveed for kissing him that he lost control. That wasn't something he should be held accountable for.

**Naveed 5.26pm**

_i'm sure you didn't do it on purpose_. _did you?_

**Cory 5.27pm**

_no._

**Naveed 5.27pm**

_well then_. _accidents happen_.

 _what happened to riz?_ _he okay?_

**Cory 5.28pm**

_he'll be okay_. _doctor said there won't be any lasting damage_.

**Naveed 5.29pm**

_what did riz say?_ _did you go see him?_

**Cory 5.30pm**

_wdym?_ _yes_.

**Naveed 5.30pm**

_about you breaking his neck?_

**Cory 5.30pm**

_i didn't break his neck_. _i fractured it or something_.

**Naveed 5.31pm**

_what did he say?!?!?!_

Naveed could practically _feel_ Cory's sigh.

**Cory 5.32pm**

_he said he understood i wasn't trying to hurt him_.

Naveed felt slightly relieved at the revelation, but didn't feel like he could relax as they still had a lot to talk about. He was happy for Cory, that he had been forgiven. He knew how much that forgiveness must have meant to him. He probably wouldn't have ever forgiven himself if Riz hadn't seen the truth. He was happy for Riz too; happy that there wasn't any permanent damage and that he would be okay. Riz was just as good of a friend to Naveed as Cory.

Naveed knew that he needed to ask Cory what had happened. He knew that Cory needed to open up to someone, but he was unsure if he’d open up to him at this point. While Naveed hadn't meant any harm, his impulsiveness had clearly caused a lot of it. He wanted to ask him if he was going to tell anyone what had happened, to beg him not to. He didn't. He thought it might set him off. He felt like he was treading on egg shells around him, like their friendship had been damaged. He wished he'd never kissed him.

Naveed's phone buzzed in his hand, giving him a fright.

**Cory 5.33pm**

_i messed everything up, nav_.

**Naveed 5.33pm**

_oh, cory_. _there will be other opportunities!_

 _don't worry about it_ , _there's nothing you can do now_.

**Cory 5.34pm**

_what other opportunities? i was doing this for me and jordan. i thought this would be our chance at a better life away from our dad. he wouldn't have to go into care and i'd finally he able to take care of him the way i should have been all these years. this wasn't just about me, nav. i messed his chance up._

Naveed really felt for Cory. He understood what it was like to feel useless, to feel like you have let everyone down, and to feel like you've missed out on an opportunity. Their relationship was special in the sense that they both completely believed in each other. Cory supported Naveed; Naveed supported Cory. He knew how talented Cory was, he was definitely the best rugby player in Ackley Bridge. There wasn't anything Cory couldn't do if he set his mind to it, especially when it came to rugby. He's actually been doing an _amazing_ job in the play, for heaven’s sake! He knew all his lines _and_ he was a decent actor. He was giving Naveed a run for his money. He only wished that Cory believed in himself as much as _he_ believed in Cory.

**Naveed 5.35pm**

_sometimes the universe conspires and things don't go according to plan, but that doesn't mean that the universe doesn't have a plan. you never know, it might be even greater than you thought. good things come to those who wait. you have so much talent and you just need to believe in yourself. anyone would have had a hard time today under the same circumstances as you. if it was me, i doubt i'd have even been able to go out on the field. try and stay positive. talk to mr bell, i'm sure he can try and arrange for another scout to come and watch you play?_

_i believe in you._

Naveed waited patiently for Cory to reply, hoping that what he had sent made sense. He also hoped that Cory believed every word because it was _all_ true.

**Cory 5.37pm**

_thanks. i have to go._

Naveed stared down at the words and couldn't help but feel like he was being brushed off. Frowning sadly, he locked his phone, silently wishing that Cory had continued to message him. As more time passed by, it felt like their friendship wouldn't be able to come back from that kiss.

That God forsaken _kiss_.

Naveed had felt something thick in the air, earlier that day. When he kissed Cory, he had stupidly thought it was love, or lust, or _something_ that meant Cory liked him back.

It wasn't. It was an omen.

It was the end of their friendship.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and please, let me know what you thought. Feedback is ALWAYS welcome.


End file.
